So here's what I've woken up to the last couple of days.
"Hi Mom! I need hand, hand, face (our family's slang for needing your face and hands cleaned). I ate... "
choose one: honey, candy, ice cream (the whole carton was sitting on the table), sausage (frozen straight from the freezer and smothered in ketchup), ice cream sandwiches, popsicles.
"I gave myself a haircut."
I think I need to stop sleeping in. Though luckily besides hair on the carpet I can't quit tell where the haircut took place. I think I should probably lock all the scissors away too.